Brought to You by the Extra Swoop

You know...that one that made you think it was a "G" until that fateful day your world came crashing in and you learned it was just an embellishment.  Today for reasons unknown to me I had an urge to have a Disney princess day. Yes I sang along with every song and yes I recited the most classic lines along with the characters. I noticed a few things as well.... (N.B. I do not own the rights to any of these images.)

1. The leading male characters must not only be in touch with their feminine side enough to burst out into perfect melody, but they must be also be so in tune with their mounts that they share the same emotions.
   
   [caption id="attachment_83" align="alignnone" width="300" caption="You have HOW many jelly beans?"][/caption]
   
   [caption id="attachment_106" align="alignnone" width="300" caption="It's ok I don't have a name either."][/caption]
   
   [caption id="attachment_85" align="alignnone" width="300" caption="We must be tense and perhaps angry while thinking!"][/caption]


2. If you aren't a female lead--and you wear a dress--then you will be stuck in a monochromatic garb that will have little variance from your also not-as-important counterparts. In one case this really isn't fair because they have more lines and on screen time than the princess ever got.
   
   [caption id="attachment_109" align="alignnone" width="300" caption="Not only that but this makeup makes us look cheap!"][/caption]
   
   [caption id="attachment_96" align="alignnone" width="300" caption="You know...my chin has been rubbed raw from this silly hat!"][/caption]
   
   [caption id="attachment_90" align="alignnone" width="300" caption="We're so interchangeable that in different shots that the artists don't notice they often switch hairstyle/dresses on us."][/caption]


3. You can never, no not ever, trust someone in purple. If they seem somewhat trustworthy, tell them you won't believe them until they go change their clothes.
   
   [caption id="attachment_105" align="alignnone" width="300" caption="Fear my menacing pigtails!!!"][/caption]
   
   [caption id="attachment_102" align="alignnone" width="300" caption="My powers are so strong that I can not only make fabric fly out, but also completely cover my wrist at all times!"][/caption]
   
   [caption id="attachment_97" align="alignnone" width="300" caption="I like to color coordinate with my "friends on the other side""][/caption]
   
   On this subject I will not be stopping at three pictures!
   
   [caption id="attachment_100" align="alignnone" width="300" caption="Child labor laws!?!? "][/caption]
   
   [caption id="attachment_95" align="alignnone" width="300" caption="Evil means never having to mess with your hair."][/caption]
   
   [caption id="attachment_86" align="alignnone" width="300" caption="Her freaking skin is purple!! That's a "Danger Will Robinson" if I ever saw it!!"][/caption]

The final image I will leave with you is something I found at http://angelfromanotherpin.blogspot.com/2010/01/in-villain-drag.html which is just one of the coolest things I've ever seen!

[caption id="attachment_98" align="alignnone" width="300" caption="I just wish it had been expanded to include all the girls and their villians."][/caption]

For Sale Don'ts #2

Well the houses we looked at really didn't have much selling don'ts going on for me to make a post about them. I did, however, come upon more listings with selling don'ts, so we shall not want for a theme. :-)

1. My first point is primarily for architects than it is for sellers. Though, if you do intend to sell, then you really should address the issue and not wait around for any of the builders, designers, and inspectors--all who should have addressed this issue--to fess up and fix it. A shower should not ever have a normal-sized window in it. You would be surprised how many houses I have come across that have this Well-hello-Mr. Smith-while-you-are-mowing-your-lawn-could-you-see-if-this-looks-cancerous feature. One could argue that the area wasn't originally designed to have a shower there. True, but when someone made it into one, don't you think it should have been considered? When having the job done--hopefully by a professional because I don't want to think the damage that could have been done by an amateur--one could request the window to be walled up or have the glass replaced by those glass cubes that obscure the view.  I wonder if they just thought, "Selling the house. Not my problem." It is if it never sells.
   
   [caption id="attachment_69" align="alignnone" width="300" caption="I noticed--while trimming the hedges--that you forgot to wash behind your ears."][/caption]
   
   [caption id="attachment_74" align="alignnone" width="179" caption="This is much better"][/caption]


2. I don't have a long, lovely paragraph for the next two photos, but I do have two words: just no.
   
   [caption id="attachment_70" align="alignnone" width="179" caption="Beware the ghost of the rectangle!!!"][/caption]
   
   [caption id="attachment_71" align="alignnone" width="300" caption="Please don't say you're taking the broken rod with you!!"][/caption]


3. The following photos make me think that the owners didn't quite understand what a "hot property" meant, so they went with the smoky look. Nothing like previously-went-through-a-fire make the offers come pouring in--how punny! :-)
   
   [caption id="attachment_72" align="alignnone" width="300" caption="Mixing vertical and horizontal stripes? Bold move, seller, bold move."][/caption]
   
   [caption id="attachment_73" align="alignnone" width="300" caption="Now with authentic grill flavoring!"][/caption]

While continuing the search for our  first home, I will keep my eyes open for more offenders. Due to the fact that we want to buy as quickly as possible I probably should feel bad about hoping to find more!

What's Trending

I don't mean that in the Twitter sense.  Below you will find my 3 pertain to subjects that I have recently delved into for many an hour.

1. Movies: I've recently gotten into watching as many movies as I can. I spent nearly an entire day on TMC watching a collection of movies directed by Ernst Lubitsch. The majority of the movies shown had wonderful banter and charming characters. According to IMDb "...[Lubitsch] took up serious subjects and spiced them with elegance, sophistication, cynicism and witty lines - [His trademark] became known as "the Lubitsch Touch." (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0523932/bio) With a combination such as that it is no wonder that I enjoyed the movies. Of his that I've seen and can recommend are "The Shop Around the Corner" (which is what "You've Got Mail" is based upon), "To Be or Not to Be"--a tale of actors taking on the Gestapo, and "Ninotchka"--in which a loyal Communist Russian falls for a lighthearted Frenchman. If I had to choose one to recommend, it would be "To Be or Not to Be" because you've probably already seen "You've Got Mail" and you don't have to wait long at all for the quick wit to begin. Other movies genres that have appealed to me are foreign films with subtitles such as "Sophie Scholl: The Final Days" and "Amelie" and ones about the British monarchy/upper class as portrayed in "Young Victoria" and "The Duchess." The films with subtitles I find help me be less fidgety and force me to focus on the story. The historical dramas capture me as they show a world focused on strict decorum, extravagant clothing, and often for me an inside smile on how the husband curses his wife for being incapable of producing a male heir when he is the one to blame. N.B. Please review ratings before viewing--especially with children
2. Baking: Although I haven't had as much time (or money or mouths) to focus on this one as I have the first, I have enjoyed my experiments with "how-to's" that I've found online and trying them in the kitchen. For my husband's birthday I made a rainbow-marbled cake and it turned out quite nicely. All you do is make the cake according to directions, but before you put the batter in the pan divide it into several bowls and add whatever food coloring you desire. Then pour the bowls one by one into the pan and try to spread the color evenly. It won't bake in straight lines of color, but rather it will marble itself. It looks fantastic when it's been cut.
   

   

   See how evenly I cut it?
3. Eragon: I'm currently on the third book of the Inheritance trilogy, Brisingr, and I'll be perfectly honest--I have no idea if "Inheritance" should be in quotes or underlined, but I'll go with the whole if-it-sits-on-a-shelf-you-underline-it rule. Eragon, Eldest, and Brisingr are a tale about a boy finding a dragon and the two of  them learning the responsibility of their friendship as well as growing up and trying to stay alive along the way. It is a well thought series that I believe can be enjoyed by anyone of any age--although younger kids my not want to sit still long enough for the hundreds of pages in each book. My only qualms with the books are that I've noticed some mistakes editing has missed and sometimes a few of the names can be confusing as to who is actually involved so I have to stop and reread or even once compare a name with another to see if it was the same person or not. I'm on page 155 of Brisingr and hopefully by the time I finish I can spell that without having to check every time. ;-) Oh and I hear the book-to-movie is awful with over 50 differences from the book and film. So, if you enjoy the series, don't watch the movie--apparently it's almost as bad as Ella Enchanted was. (Note Ella Enchanted is underlined because I will never refer to the blasphemous "interpretation" of the book when I can focus on the glorious book instead. Another rant for another time.)

This weekend we are going to look at some houses! YAY! So maybe next post I'll do some more selling don'ts.

Recent Self Discoveries

Since my last post was beautifully cohesive my brain has decided that this one can't be cohesive at all. It refuses to allow me to think of a single subject upon which I can conjure up 3 points. So I will spend this post on somethings I've learned about myself.

1. I read an inaccurately named article about introverts which I found quite intriguing. (http://www.psychologytoday.com/print/46944) I've known for quite some time that I am an introvert and I am quite content to be such. What I found interesting, however, is how well it nailed me. There is a section about awkward interactions and inward dialogue that makes me wonder if someone has been reading my mind. "Even a simple opener of 'Hello, how are you? Hey, I've been meaning to talk to you about X,' from anyone can challenge an introvert. Rather than bypassing the first question or interrupting the flow to answer it, the introvert holds onto the question: Hmm, how am I? (An internal dialogue begins, in which the introvert 'hears' herself talking internally as the other person speaks.)" The following paragraphs detail the internal dialogue which seemed like an exact map of my mind. The only problem now is I grab at what I read as a defense. Now when I am in stressful situations instead of thinking "I don't want to do this! I'm no good at making small talk with hair stylists!" I think, "I can't do this ! I'm an introvert!" So I guess congratulations go to me. :-) I now understand myself better and have an insta-crutch for why I can't do something. *hobble hobble hobble* Don't get me wrong I don't believe that we introverts need to be "fixed" or that there's anything wrong with us. I just need to make sure I push through my insecurities when needed and remind myself that I don't have to fit in or be like everyone else.


2. I am a Before and After junkie. I love seeing what's wrong in the beginning, being part of the journey, and reveling in the ever after ending. I love fairy tales. I love makeovers be they people or businesses. I love the shows that follow the ASPCA which depict the salvation of a struggling animal. I am a sucker for the wedding episode of  any tv show because I want to see the bride in all her best. As I'm typing this I am sucked into a "Tabatha's Salon Takeover" on Bravo and upon checking the guide I'm going to be sucked in for another few hours.


3. I really hate dreaming about high school. They are some of the worst dreams I've ever had. Usually my dreams are about reliving high school and failing tests or being suddenly back in the shuffle of the halls trying to convince anyone walking by that I had already graduated--I wasn't supposed to be there! In the end I wake up stressed out and upset with the battle fresh in my mind. Recently I've had a change up in my high school dreams. In it every single girls' bathroom had been remodeled into lockers. Everywhere I ran there were more and more lockers. The final girls' bathroom I went into had been transformed into a sports school store where you could buy anything from pencils with the school logo to football jerseys. I was furious! I started a revolt and picketed the principal's office for making such changes. I was on my way to becoming a heroine, feeling good about myself, and then I woke up. I'm not sure that my body is sending me the best message about going to sleep with a full bladder.

We've added a new member to our family. So far we're still in the you're-in-my-territory-you-smell-strange-I-don't-like-you stage...but I know that it'll blow over soon enough. :-)

For Sale Don'ts

As I have been perusing the house market I've noticed some interesting things that sellers have posted in their pictures that in no way help in selling the house. Of course when I thought of doing this blog I couldn't find some of the worse photos--like one of a man who has scrunched down and faced away from the camera so it looks like they are criminal-catching, house-selling multi-taskers. (I'm going to attempt to try something here and I'm crossing every digit in hopes that it will work.)

1. Do not post pictures that show case exactly how much yard work the buyers will have to do each year---in addition to right after they move in so that their thousands-of-dollars-eat-bologna-sandwiches-so-that-they-can-one-day-afford-the-down-payment-spend-every-weekend-of-the-past-six-months-scouring-the-state-for-the-one-that-fits-the-most-of-their-criteria purchase looks nice.
   
   [caption id="attachment_40" align="alignnone" width="300" caption="We'll throw in the leaves for free!"][/caption]


2. Don't show case a house that you have listed as "move-in ready" with things that will need to be repaired, replaced or added. I've seen bathrooms without mirrors or flooring, rooms that have two or three different colors of paint (kinda like the person painting had multiple personality disorder and you weren't sure which color/personality won), and some where no flooring was laid, but they did have fun watching paint make it's way down the steps.
   
   [caption id="attachment_41" align="alignnone" width="300" caption="These floors will look loads better once the blinds finally fall and make a ding or scratch them!"][/caption]


3. Try not to exemplify the more creepy aspects of the home you are trying to sell. Really dark, damp-looking basements, bars or ply wood on the windows,  and weird stains on the floor are not exactly shouting "come and get it"  to potential buyers. My favorite creepy thing of all is the faces some houses have.

Do you honestly want to see a fire coming out of the mouth of that??

Another little friendly tip from me to you: clean your bathroom!!! Nothing like seeing  how many times you've missed the toilet and have turned the grout around it from sheet white to eww-why-is-that-yellow to entice buyers! (Yay inserting pictures in the blog worked!! Except for the last one, it worked perfectly, too!)

Revelations of Self

Due to the fact that I've recently finished a book, there's nothing on TV, and I can't currently think of a movie to watch on Netflix you are getting another post out of me. :-)

1. I have almost a desperate desire in my heart to write a young adult book that I can't seem to shake. I am completely void of any subject matter on which I could write and grasp in vain at ideas I deem unoriginal and know that they would turn into a pathetic misrepresentation of the wonderful work already done by someone else's hand. This longing, this unborn thing in me would, with hopeful wishes, engulf the reader in the wonder of another world full of magic and perseverance. I once had a literature teacher who wrote off escapist literature as something for children only and should be left alone once you learn to read with an analytical eye. I vehemently disagree with this opinion of hers. Some of the most extraordinary characters I have come across have been found amongst the pages of fairy tales and they have shown me what true compassion, friendship, self-growth, coping, and love is while taking on the worst of foes. I don't think we are done being taught how to live with such vital concepts when we reach any certain age, so to stop allowing yourself to receive those lessons from sources that also provide great entertainment--to me--is like saying that you are done developing as a human of childlike wonder and empathy.


2. I really don't appreciate it when someone tries to force a  certain response from me--especially if it's one that wouldn't come naturally from me.  Whether it be a judgmental statement such as "you don't actually like that, do you" to a statement that forces (usually feigned) interest from me. My mother loves to use this tactic to help spread unnecessary drama. One evening my husband and I were sitting across from her and her husband and out of the blue she says, "And that's why [he] isn't allowed over the house anymore." At no point were we talking about this guy nor do we know him. The only appropriate way I can think of to respond to this without also being pulled into needless drama is to ignore the comment. I guess my issue with expected responses is that it is a form of manipulation. When you grow up being constantly manipulated you tend to loathe it like traditional vampires loathe sunlight or Ke$ha loathes decency, propriety...soap.


3. I have this terrible tendency to block myself off from others. I would like to say that I have no idea why and cross my arms and make you move on to something else, but I can't. I honestly think it's because of so many people letting me down in my life. Be it by using me as a pawn in their game or filling my ears with words and my eyes with actions full of falsehoods so that I no longer know what is right or simple lack of love and utter neglect from those who swore to care for me. I have a horrible habit of clinging to someone new in my life and divulge all of my secrets just knowing that they are the one person who might actually understand me and maybe somehow reverse the damage done. I cling to that person as a lifeline until that day that they turn out to be human and then I begin to build a wall against them so that they can't hurt me like so many others have. I can and often do forgive any trespass that occurred but I can't figure out a way to stop construction. These barriers that I cling to are higher and stronger than China's glory, but are as harmful as Berlin's shame. The simplest word-to-paper way to fix this is to trust others and understand that they are every bit as human as I am. Recovering trust, however in practice, is so hard for me. My hope is one day I will get better and that my children will grow up not seeing this side to their mother.

Ever reach out into the void so hard only to realize it's called that for a reason? Later days.

Pet Peeves

I think I might have a cohesive blog this time! Ack!! Surely this is one of the seven signs of the Apocalypse!!!!

1. I hate it when I'm using Stumble Upon and someone has decided to click "I like it!" in the middle of a list or at the end of the list. For those who don't know--because they are weird--Stumble Upon is an ad-on through Firefox which asks for your browsing preferences  and then returns websites based on the given criteria. You can give the program a better idea of what you enjoy by voting "I like it!" or "No more like this" on any given page. If you click "I like it!" on a website or page that was not previously apart of Stumble Upon then you can add it to their wide array for other users to find. Which means that if someone clicks "Stumble!" and they get the page you added, then they will get the page you liked. If this happens to be at the middle or end of a list, then the user has to recognize that and continue on or click their way back to the beginning (usually waiting for each page to load) and then go through the list again, but this time in the proper order. It really irritates me that the submitter can't just go back to the beginning and like that page so that the recommendation that is being given to others isn't a long task to fix so that the list can be properly enjoyed. Grr.


2. Magazine pretentiousness. I find it very hard to take seriously magazines that think you have Martha Stewart's supply room, her cooking or craft skills, Donald Trump's bank account, and Paris Hilton's figure. The most laughable  to me is the section that is dedicated to "getting the look for less" and the items it displays is a $250 dress, $75 shoes, $60 bracelet, and a clutch for $100. How about you really help me out and tell me where I can find some comfy pants for under $15? To my knowledge we're still suffering from a recession out there. Or how about some quick meal ideas that don't involve me owning every kitchen appliance known to man. A way to make eating Hamburger Helper for the 3rd night in a row because that's all I can afford a little more appealing--that wouldn't be too bad. I guess it just all boils down to the fact that I think if you are going to print tips and advice and sell it to the general public, try making them something we can actually use!


3. "House Hunters International"--usually this show annoys me because people are shopping for their vacation home. Which is all fine and good for them, but I'm poor and saving up for a house that won't even look as good as the slums of the cities where they are looking. So really this is more of an insecurity about my own bank account and channeling that to bitterness for their good fortune. It's still not fair though!!!!

In my closing I won't slip in a 4th pet peeve so that I can still maintain my motif but inform you of something else that came to mind. For instance I won't talk about how I hate it when others burn leaves because it makes my throat feel like it's closing up and I can't breathe. Nope. I am not doing anything like that!